shap_shack

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 03:27:22 GMT

Things that I've been totally loving lately:

* Having Maggie, the magpie that lives in the tree outside our house come say hello whilst I hang out the washing.
* 'New Soul' by Yael Naim
* Booking tickets to the Earth Festival with Nell.
* Knowing that in exactly one week and day, uni will be over forever!
* Opportunities that come out of nowhere.
* Boys finding me 'intriguing'. That's plural!
* My hair 'working'. ie - not awful.
* Releasing my inner organisation demon.
* Orange juice.
* Byron Bay baby!
* Fight Do class. Heeee yahhh!
* Tracy Chapman.
* Coffee, coffee and more coffee.
* Barack Obama.
* My old laptop dying. RIP Norman. Guess it's time for a Mac!
* Not knowing what this summer is going to bring.
* Getting over the fact that I don't have a flat stomach. Fuck it! Give me another Krispy Kreme!
* Buying bracelets.
* Rose.
* The anticipation of moving to inner city Sydney and starting at a super cool agency.
* Wielding a plunger and fixing the sink. No plumber necessary!
* High, high heels.
* Ice cream.

xx

nicked from hod hod hod hod because I'm bored bored bored bored.

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 10:12:24 GMT

[1]. Name one person who is on your mind right now.
Myself - namely whether I should get photographed in the nuddy tomorrow for the uni newspaper. ew.

[2]. Do you think your life has been good so far?
I wouldn't change anything.

[3]. What are your grandmother's maiden names?
Mother's side: Palma. Dad's side: No idea!!

[4]. What is the last song that you listened to?
Just Fine - Mary J Blige

[5]. Where is the last place you went?
gym class

[6]. Who is the last person you called?
Nell

[7]. Who is the last person you text messaged?
Terry - almost step dad

[8]. What's the name of your first love?
No comment

[9]. Do you still talk to him/her?
yeah

[10]. What's the longest relationship you've ever been in?
2 years

[11]. Why did it end?
natural expiration date

[12]. Have you ever cheated on anyone?
Emotionally, plenty of times. Physically, no.

[13]. Been cheated on?
Probably.

[14]. Have you ever thought that you were in love, only to realize later that you weren't?
Yeah

[15]. Ever been caught having sex?
Once. By his grandmother.

[16]. Have you ever slept with someone on the first date?
nah. they weren't getting it that easy.

[17]. What's the best thing about kissing?
kissing's actually kind of gross.

[18]. What is your favorite body type to cuddle with?
one with arms.

[19]. Do you look like your mum or dad?
Both.

[20]. Do you have siblings? If so, do you look alike?
nope. only brat.

[21]. Do you smile often?
all the time. I want some nice smile lines.

[22]. Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
Of course. who wouldn't be? haha

[23]. Could you be a vegetarian?
I am vegetarian.

[24]. Are you sentimental?
not particularly. Maybe when I'm surfing the crimson tide.

[25]. If you had to get married tomorrow, who would you marry?
Some half dead old bllionaire. With sufficient time to change his will. But only if I had to.

[26]. Who would be in your wedding?
Dumb question. friends and family. duh

[27]. Who would you want to catch the bouquet?
my mum. so she'd freakin marry terry and we'd all breathe a sigh of relief.

[28]. Do you know who you will marry?
Probably Nell. Everyone thinks were lesbians anyway.

[29]. Ever thought someone was "the one?"
Nope

[30]. What do you think your wedding song will be?
So What - Pink. ha!

[31]. What is your middle name?
Rachel

[32]. If there were 3 wells (love, beauty, and creativity) and you could drink from one, which one would you choose?
I'd got for love. and maybe try to get in on beauty.

[33]. Do you wish on stars?
no

34]. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
god no. who does that?

[35]. What is the most disgusting food you've ever eaten?
dinuguan - a Filipino dish made entirely of pigs blood.

[36]. Would you kill someone?
nah. unless it was a sociopath that tortured me and i managed to exact my revenge.

[37]. When did you last cry?
2 days ago. i put my foot in the wrong shoe and bawled.

[38]. If you were making a movie about yourself, who would play the lead?
Rachel Bilson. or Blair from Gossip Girl. Nah, Rachel Bilson. She's way more fun.

[39]. Have you ever met/seen anyone famous?
I met the duo from Lovers Electric last night. They are ALL kinds of awesome. In every way, shape and form.

[40]. Do you like your handwriting?
It's readable.

[41]. Who are you jealous of?
Freakishly intelligent people

[42]. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?
yea. i hated it

[43]. What is your favorite lunch meat?
None. don't eat meat.

[44]. Do you have any bad habits?
peeling off nailpolish 20 minutes after I put it on.

[45]. Are you a friendly person?
i suppose so.

[46]. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?
totally.

[47]. Do looks matter?
To some extent

[48]. What is your favorite school subject?
english

[49]. Have you ever told a secret that you swore you wouldn't repeat?
yup. all the time. don't trust me.

[50]. Do you regret anything?
nah. regretting things is a waste of time.

Complete and utter rambling. I wouldn't waste my time.

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:56:52 GMT

So I've kinda cultivated a love for Antiques Roadshow. I always knew I was a bit of a geek, but this just takes things to a whole new level. I figure by publicising my inner geekiness, you will all simply find my candidness adorable and not judge me.

Of course, I could have just not told you all to begin with and saved myself this useless internal argument. I'm becoming JD from Scrubs. Which I think I'm going to watch now to reserve my last vestiges of dignity.

Wow. I really have just written crap about nothing. I'm totally in the right industry.

arrrgh!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 10:43:47 GMT

I have been home for all of 5 days and already I am dying to move out. I love my mum, but she is a complete headcase. One minute I'm too fat and she's pulling the toast out of my hands, the next minute I'm not ambitious enough and the minute after my new haircut won't help me on the road to becoming a news presenter (reality check mum, I don't even want to be a news presenter!)

Then I got an internship at an advertising agency and she still isn't pleased for me, it's like I'm just a walking disappointment to her.

Sorry, just had to rant.

besos!

The big trip so far...

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 20:22:38 GMT

Am now in Argentina. heres a very quick overview of my trip so far:

New York: Amazing, incredible, fantasic, stupendo (insert various other adjectives here). Chantal and I seemed to have the midas touch, everyone loved us and wanted to give us discounts. I bought (wait for it...) a pair of the most perfect Chloe boots from Saks on fifth avenue down to US$515 from 1250. And I managed to bargain the salesman down another ten percent to $486!! We got free coffes, free sandwiches, ten percent off Guess heels and cute waiters who brought us unlimited iced tea. Spent new years in a New Yorkers apartment dancing on tables (thankfully I had the wits to delete the evidence before the pic found their way to facebook), talking to various NYC crazies and even kissing one of them! The sex and the city tour was unreal too! Loved it, loved it, loved it. Am hoping to charm an angry new yorker into marrying me just so I can live there one day.

Rio De Janeiro: Overcast, slightly scary, beautiful, big Jesus. The weather was ####, which was a pity. but the clouds parted on our last day and proceeded to fry ourselves on Copacobana beach.

Salvador: Vibrant, energetic, restless, fun, effervescent. The place that looks sleep in the eye and yells "#### YOU!". We stayed in the Pelourihno, which is like the tourist slum. Its right before their carnivale, the energy in the street was catching and the place was pumping with the sound of drums. We caught an afrobrazillian dance class in the square, and learnt how to dance capoeira on a deserted beach. Incredible looking men at Barra beach preening and whistling at us. I got three phone number in the space of 10 minutes! And they were all hot hot hot! Hello Salvador!! All in all Salvador was a huge highlight and a lot of fun...

Foz Do Iguazu: Roaring fun, wet, sticky, awe inspiring. Imagine 270 waterfalls in one place. Well, that place is Iguazu falls. You can see the falls from either the Brazillian side or the Argentinean side, but we heard the argentinean side was much better, so off we went. We started with a safari, then a boat tour where you get rather up close and personal, getting drenched by the falls. It was awesome. Then we did an overall tour of the falls. At 5pm we had to rush to the bus station to take an overnight bus to Buenos Aires. 20 hours later and after checking into our crazy hostel, I´m here, exhausted but awaiting the next chapter os our trip.

Next episode: Peru, Macchu Picchu, Bolivia.

Besos xx

Transit lounges

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:37:16 GMT

Am in New Zealand transit lounge. I have a 12 hour flight to Los Angeles then a three hour wait, then another flight to New York. Woo hoo. Being in the transit lounge sucks all the life out of you. Everyone here looks like they've died and gone to purgatory. Everyone is a zombie. When their flight is announced, its like they just ate an energiser bunny and all hope and life is restored. You can almost hear them thinking "Yes! My plane is here... I forgot I had a destination and a LIFE!" It's really quite hilarious.

Better join the masses of the living dead.

Ciao

Whhheeee!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Sun, 23 Dec 2007 12:00:35 GMT

This is sooo way overdue that i need another word for overdue. So it seems that I'm going and I shall be posting my adventures in New York and South America here. I'll be leaving on the 27th for freezing NY and I'll be back from South America on the 16th of February. I'm so freaking excited I just wet myself! In preparation, I have been watching Sex and the City obsessively (I'm so looking forward to the Sex and the City tour in NY!) pretending I can speak spanish ("Toceiro taco bell!") and sqealing everytime i look at pictures of the places I am going (NY, Rio, Iguazu Falls, Buenos Aires, La Paz, Peru).

In other news I lost my license for three months for speeding. Oh the shame. The shame.. I guess I won't be here for half of it though, so that makes the pain so much easier to bear.

So for the people who bothered to read this, merry christmas/hannukah to those who celebrate it, and have a great holiday!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Wed, 16 May 2007 02:42:28 GMT

Why did God not grant me the power to parallel park?

Arrrrgh my new car!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Tue, 24 Apr 2007 23:31:49 GMT

My new car is a bright blue toyota corolla seca. Its name is Magda (until further notice). I bought it off ebay about two weeks ago and since then strange things have been happening to my memory.

1. I lose my iPod

2. I lose my make up bag, mimco hat and my favourite jumper.

All this in the space of one and a half weeks, ever since I bought the car. You would think that now I have a car I can leave things in it and therefore 'misplace' but never lose them. But I just seem to be leaving things everywhere around Sydney now that I have the opportunity to drive to random places and leave shit there. Bob my gay iPod wasn't a terribly big deal, he was dying and I was looking for an excuse to replace him with a video (so I can watch Family Guy in my lectures - isn't technology wonderful!). But my make up bag? Man that was harsh. I was stranded on Saturday night with no make up and because of that, I ddn't go out. What a waste. And I went on a giant make-up shopping spree yesterday and spent over $200 on new cosmetics. That was just basics!!! Since when did bronzer become so expensive? This car seems to want to drain me of all my money.

Also, that mimco hat was last season so I can't buy it again. I fucking loved that hat.

If anyone has found a red Deja Vu carry bag with a black Oroton Make-up bag, grey knitted mimco cap, grey and white stripey jumper and a banana in it, please comment here. (They were left on the 380 bus last saturday from paddington to bondi junction). And I won't mind if you ate the banana.
If anyone found Bob, keep him. Just give him a good home and don't bash him around too much.

Have a good Anzac Day everybody!

Avril Fucking Lavigne

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:30:46 GMT

Watch this three minute interview with avril lavigne and tell me you don't want to punch herin her sneery little face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p--77vPuWCY

After watching that, I don't think she deserves her fame. The publicity vehicle is all part of the job and if she wants more 11 yearold teenybopper wannabes to go buy her whiny shithead album then she should at least project some sort of personality/humour ANYTHING that the audience can use to relate to her with. I feel for the interviewer, there is nothing worse than talking to someone who has no interest in you, but at least in real life we can flip them the bird and walk away. He had to go through with the interview knowing that she couldn't give a rats ass about the questions. That would suck royally.

Back to work now!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 03:44:33 GMT

So mum tells me today that she's giving me her 2000 Volvo. Which is sweet except that I have to sell my soul just to get it to accelerate. And thats just on flat surfaces. On hills, I'm the idiot you're driving behind doing 40kms in a 100 zone just cause Bernie (Thats the car's name) doesn't feel like gunning it today. A P-plater in a Volvo. Could you think of anything worse? I was secretly hoping for a Mercedes C-class, or maybe an Audi. Hell I was even going to accept it second hand. But you can't always get what you want. mum says the reason she won't even consider letting me get any other car is because I won't die in that one. Its got a 5 star safety rating (according to Reader's Digest). There's so many air bags in it that if I crashed the car would probably lift off upon impact.

Anyway, so I was complaining about Business Stats last semester, except that I passed the subject, so now its onto Advanced Business Stats...And what a ball of fun that is. Its exactly the same as Stats 1 but they add more greek letters and they square everything and draw funny fishy shapes and call it "the level of significance" Except I don't find it all that significant. The thing is it would all be ok if they didn't have classes at 9am twice a week. Its bad enough I don't get it, but its even worse when they charge ahead with 'population inference variables' when I haven't even had a coffee yet. And the guy I usually get to do all my stats assignments doesn't go to my uni any more so now I'm really stuffed.

i'm going to wallow in self pity now

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 06 Nov 2006 02:18:42 GMT

Once tagged by this entry, the assignment is to write a blog entry of some kind with six random facts about yourself. Then, pick six of your friends and tag them; no tag backs. This explanation should be included.

1. I am addicted to magazines - Madison, Cosmo, Frankie, Ok, etc etc. I've worked out that I have spent upwards of $500 a year just on magazines. That figure makes me want to vomit.
2. I read faster than a lot of people I know.
3. I secretly enjoy tyring to figure out Business Statistics (don't tell anyone, i always complain about it!)
4. I can't stand seeing things misspelt. It drives me mentall.
5. I always complain about my boobs, but I wouldn't know what to do with myself if i didn't have them.
6. I eavesdrop on Filipino people having conversations when i can. The shit they talk about cracks me up.

I was tagged by rev_drake_grom.

Not tagging anyone. Can't be bothered!

xx

piccies!!!!!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Oct 2006 14:06:43 GMT

So sue me, I went to village Fair. i couldn't resist. The only reason I'm not down at the pub with everyone else is cause I got sick very soon after eating a kebab from the dodgy vendor. I waited in line for about 40 mins. It was like a mosh pit, people were squishing me from every side and I was hyperventilating. i kept contemplating leaving, but I needed that kebab. By the time I could order, I was whacked in the head, trampled on and felt nauseated. In the end I got the wrong kebab, but it was still the best kebab of my life had it not made me violently ill. End of tragic story. I totally regret not going downtown with everyone else, but i bet my liver will thank me for it one day.

As promised, here are two piccies from cindy ball...

My dormies and I. This was at the dorm party we had before we went to the ball. We may not look it, but at this point, we were all totally shitfaced!

Jane and I were channelling Carmen Electra ala 'Fit to Strip'. We had no idea that our other dormie was in the background! We pissed ourselves laughing when we got the pic developed!

So a semi drunken hello to everyone I know whos lurking on LJ. Must catch up soon (yes that involves you too Charlotte and Iva!)

good night! xx

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 22:57:45 GMT

Ok... So I've been totally slack with the updating thing. But that doesn't mean that nothing's been happening... I've just been a lazy, lazy monkey. I'm still trying to patch together everything that happened at Cindy Ball - which is really just an excuse for us to get dressed up and drink ourselves to the shitter. we got ready at around 7ish and by the time I headed over to the dorm party, I was giggling over my dormies sudden onslaught of touretttes where she kept yelling out "MEAT CURTAINS!" and falling into a fit of giggles. At the party I remember dancing on a table and people taking a photo of me kissing two other girls (we weren't really kissing, but the photo is very convincing). Perhaps the dumbest thing I did was eat nothing but celery sticks in the vain hope that the weight lost from eating them will counteract the calories gained from drinking. Didn't happen. Not only did I just get more pissed, I got ravenously hungry at 5 am and ended up sticking my head in a bucket of KFC. I broke my shoe on the way to uni bar, and in line I suddenly decided to turn Spanish, exclaiming 'No habla espanol' and 'Yoceiro (sp?) Taco Bell!" The rest of the night was a blur of dancing and laughing, drunken DnM's and those inexplicable proclamations of 'I looooove you.... 'no I love youuuuu more!'
Perhaps the most fun I had was finishing my business statistics assignment 2 hours before it was due with a hangover. not pretty.
It was a great night, and now I'm tossing up whether to go to Village Fair today, a much smaller, shittier version of Big Day out. Too many assignments due and too many reasons not to do them!

I will post the photo's of the night soon, they tell the story much better than my mediocre efforts.

:-)

Rantings and Ramblings

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 05:02:21 GMT

Cast your minds back to the rambling entry I made about accounting. Remember the bunnies and rainbows and all that shit? And how I burnt them and blah blah blah? Good. Because they've resurrected from the dead (I like to picture it as the melty man from Terminator 2). Now the bunny's got a fat gun and a smile on its face. So what is this? What subject can be so heinous that it would warrant another livejournal rant?
Business Statistics. Its not just maths, its hell in the form of probabilities, formulas that have no meaning, factorials, new buttons on my old high school calculator that I'd hoped I'd never see again. its page long calculations that you don't give a shit about. Its formulas where there are more greek letters than numbers, and a lecturer that laughs at you when you tell him you're sick and could you get an extension on that assignment that you can't do anyway. I want accounting back. Accounting never hurt anyone.
And do you know what happens if by some divine intervention I pass this fucked up subject? I get to move on to ADVANCED Business Statistics. Whoopee for me.

In another hilarious turn at work I fainted and hit my head on the counter, when I came to, I got confused and told my workmate rather incoherently that my mother was having lunch with my boyfriend at her work (he was at work, my mum was at lunch) They took me straight to the doctor who was more interested in complaining about 'those assholes who park in the disabled spots' than the the fact that my left eye started pulsating and seeing stars.

Anyways Happy belated b-day to Elle who just turned 20 (were halfway to forty, which is halfway to eighty, holy shit!)

Ciao

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Wed, 24 May 2006 14:13:35 GMT

It is so cold in bathurst that there is no need to refrigerate my water. Thats right. i enjoy ice cold water, whenever I want it just by leaving it outside my window. When you step outside,the icy wind slices through your clothes (no matter how many layers your're wearing) and any skin that isn't covered is massacred and numb by the time you do reach some warmth. It's called 'defrosting' when you've just come in from the cold and it's so warm inside that you actually start to sweat 3 seconds later. The scary thing is, its not technically winter yet. it's only going to get colder.

And funnily enough, just when it gets so disgustingly, unbearingly cold that the sheer thought of getting out of bed makes you want to cry, you realise that you have an 8:30 am group meeting. That's what happened to me this morning. Now for those who are at high school or uni, whats your stance on group work? i have a group presentation, a group report and a video production assessment all due next week. when I look at my calendar I want to burn it, thats how freaked out I am. What was I doing 2 weeks ago when I was watching sex and city every night and going out thinking I had no work to do? Have you ever noticed that this shit always creeps up on you just when you thought you were organised enough NOT to leave it to the last minute. I'm beginning to think that perhaps I am masochictically bringing this on myself. Maybe I should look up freudian theories in the hope that I can self-diagnose my sadistic procrastination. Of ocurse if I did do that, then I would effectively be procrastinating and in which case i'm back to square one of this fucked up catch-22. I guess I better make myself sick or hope my already dead grandfather will die again so I have an excuse NOT to do the work.

Or I could just do it.

Hmmm...

Fuck I hate uni!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Thu, 13 Apr 2006 09:19:20 GMT

I thank God every day for Sex and the City. I really do. I wake up, jump out of bed and sing 'Thank the Lord I have six glorious seasons of Sex. that is all xx

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 05:22:54 GMT

I just bought my first pair of size eight jeans last Friday. I have not taken them off all weekend because I'm nervous that they'll stop fitting and I'll get too fat for them and it would have all been a nasty April fools hoax (on myself...). Of course thats just stupid because the more times you wear the same pair of jeans, the more they stretch so I guess my plan backfired cause now they're huge around the leg. For those of you who don't know me, I haven't been a size 8 since I was eight, so this was quite an achievement. Then again, the salesgirl at general pants couldn't tell me whether Lee's were a big make or not. Ah well it feels great knowing that I'm traipsing around town in a size eight, regardless of how big it actually is. I'm so shallow, I know, but when your two best friends are models and your boyfriend has been offered a modelling gig, you kind of stop thinking in perspective and start calculating kilojoules and going on ipod fuelled runs in a bizarre attempt to join that intoxicating cult of skinny beauty. I blame cosmo for this.

So how was your weekend?

xx

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Wed, 01 Mar 2006 14:50:42 GMT

Fuck motherfucker shit fuck holy fuck

Apparently the only thing worse than being afraid of spiders, is squishing them. So right now, there is a fucking furry spider in my fucking room the size of my fucking head and I can't kill it because I'm paralysed by my own fucking fear of its lifeless spindly body landing on me. How's that for a catch fucking 22?

So for the past hour, despite the fact that I have a 9 am tut, I have been throwing my thong at it in the hope that my aim and sheer force is enough to politely knock it dead and let me sleep. Of course I had to fail fucking PE and now its sitting on the ceiling UPSIDE FUCKING DOWN looking at me. Its going to kill me. I bet its working out some plan to make my death as slow and as painful as inhumanely possible. I bet its communicating to its thousands of other furry fucker cousins and I'll wake up covered in them, swollen from thousands of bites. Maybe it'll turn me into a spider like that shithouse F grade movie 'Ticks' where the fuckers got contaminated and all these horny teenagers started turning into massive slimy ticks and I, at twelve, was pretending not to be scared at my first sleepover party, but secretly petrified beyond belief and hey... that movie despite its sheer atrocity must have made some impact because here I am 7 FUCKING YEARS LATER psychotically rambling on my blog because I'm too shit scared to squish it but even more shit scared to turn off the lights and let it eat my brain.

This would never have happened in sydney.

PICCIES!!

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 27 Feb 2006 12:10:27 GMT

Well.

I just discovered this marvellous website called photobucket and now I can post pics!!!!! I know I'm about 10 years behind everyone else (and I feel like the last kid to arrive at the party and everyone else is already drunk) but its still an accomplishment for me. So here are some pics from my friend Michelle's 19th birthday party at The Eastern in Bondi Junction.

Laura, Maria, Michelle (who is rather preoccupied), Jess and me

Me, Michelle and Laura

Me and Simon

Me, Maria, Hod and Missy. This pic is great coz mary and I look like were busting some great Saturday Night Fever moves... Oh... and Hod's hot

It was the best night, the music was great and the people weren't too snobby.

These next photos are randoms from uni:

This is at Cindy Ball, which is just an excuse to get dressed up and smashed. The unibar windows were covered in paper so you couldn;t tell what time it was and then if you made it till 6 am, you got to drag your seedy self to maccas (who opened an hour earlier for us). I made it til 5:30. Top L-R: Chell, Kim, me, Lana and Jo in the pretty blue.

Girls: Nadine, Carly and Me
Boys: Gav, Rory and Midge (in front)

So I'm back at uni and have a shitload of work already. One subject is video production which sounds really cool in theory but as soon as I open up Final Cut Express I want to choke myself with the cord. I just shot my first 30 second video today with a friend and I've only just realised now how stupid it is. Ah well. By the end of the semester I have to present a 5 minute fully edited video with effects and everything. I'm so scared.

Ok. hopefully will post again soon, with pix from thailand. Must go do Microeconomics (Just when I thought I'd never have to see a shithead subject again...)

adios my loves xx

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 23 Jan 2006 08:14:19 GMT

So I'm sitting in an intenet cafe in Khao San Road and I look like I'm typing and having a grand time, but really I'm just using the place for its air con. it's fucking hot outside, enough to make you melt. For those who aren't aware, Simon and I are in Thailand and were still reeling from the culture shock. We've been organising it for a while, scrimping and saving in order to buy fake Louis and Prada. I am yet to see any decent copies.

We arrived on Friday night, jetlagged and grumpy. We took a taxi to the hotel we were booked at, only to realise the taxi driver gipped (ripped us off) us 30 baht. it was only until the next morning that we realised 30 baht is equivalent to one Australian dollar. We didn't feel too bad after that. We stayed at the Regency in Sukhimvit, which was beautiful despite the slummy neighbourhood. Taxi drivers flock to you like flies offering 20 baht 'shopping trips'. It sounded great until you read the lonely planet section on scams which tell you about the taxi drivers who get commission for sending you to dodgy tailors or fake gemstone shops hoping to make a quick buck out of naive tourists. Now when driver's speak to us, we tell them that we've seen everything and are about to go home. That usually gets rid of them.

By contrast, Khao San Road is amazing. Its like you step into hippy land filled with travelers of every age and nationality. Today Simon and I sat at a cafe and tried to guess the nationalities of the people who walked by. they have night markets and live music and dance clubs that never quit. We were killing time before we head to Koh Samui. The bus ticket's been booked and were leaving at 5:30 this evening for a twelve hour bus and ferry ride. God help me if I get car sick. We have no clue where were staying and whether our meagre funds will support us all througout our 24 day trip. My suitcase actually turns into a backpack, and even though I refuse to wear it that way, I think we are still classified as backpackers (probably because we stayed at a dingy backpackers hostel last night). Its been amazing. The food is getting to me though. Traditional Thai food is not like Australian Thai food where Aussie spices are substituted for hot and tasty spices here. my stomach still protests when I try to eat a bowl of chilli soup. pad Thai, which is around $AUD 15 a plate is less than a dollar here, so even though I'm trying to budget, its hard to go past a snack like that. We got gipped again walked to the grand palace (which is incredible by the way. Will post pics when I get back). A crazy lady thrust packets of corn in my hand and pushed me towards the pigeons to feed them. Inititally i started to walk away, but then offered here money for the corn, to which she ignored. She made me feed the dirty pigeons, which freaked me out - they were everywhere brushing against my feet. I started to run away from them when she came after us demanding money. She wanted $40 B! Simon gave her $20 because we knew she wouldn't leave us alone. They'll do anything for money here.

Anyways, will post again soon, hopefully from Koh Samui.

xx

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Mon, 12 Dec 2005 01:45:09 GMT

I'm going to remember Saturday night simply because when I'm old and in a 'proper' office job like my mother wants, I'm sure our work christmas parties will be a relatively tame affair devoid of short shorts, illicit cigrarettes, random girl pashing and slutty table dancing.

Saturday night involved all four (For those reading this who has prohibited me from smoking cigarettes, I only had one and it was a Malboro Light. So there. Please forgive me.) It started off boring enough with me running late only to realise that I was the first one there. How embarrassing. Even worse, one of my favourite customers was there to see me loserish and all alone. Happily enough that didn't last long when one of the girls came. We chatted for about twenty minutes before realising that no-one else had turned up and then deducing it to the fact that it was because they were all Greek (Is it a Greek thing to be late? I don't want to generalise, but everyone that was late was Greek/Macedonian. Maybe its a Mediterranean thing). Anyway, when everyone else turned up we started chowing down and the MC started to get all the bosses dancing on the bar.

That was crazy enough in itself. But then he started offering free cocktails to women (or men) who would lick whipped cream off a hairy man's chest. Something tells me half the women wouldn't because it was gross and half because of the calorie content. The barmen started to follow in that vein, pourng Midori on themselves and getting all the mothers in the room to lick it off. It was a pity they didn;t come round in our direction, some of them were hot. I hope they get paid extra for that.

Anyway, cut to the end of the night and I found myself being pushed on to the bar by my boss and her sister in law, my heels wrenched off and them screaming at me in Greek to dance (I only know this because one of the girls translated). So I did. When I got over the height thing and trying to keep balance and dance at the same time, I started having fun. I was waving my ass in her face yelling "I'd better get a raise for this" when I realised that I was in looseish white short shorts and she could probably see up them getting a delightful view of the nude g-string. Luckily she was completely smashed (I think she was...) or didn;t care because she just kept whooping and screaming. Other girls from work joined me up there and we all started dancing like sluts. My manager's boyfriend was the DJ so she got to play my favourite song of the moment 'Glamorous life' and I went off. It was all well and good until men started posing with me and taking photos like I was some zoo exhibit. That freaked me out, so I hopped off the bar and went home to my boyfriend who was sick. And so I ended the night with a fuckhead taxi driver who charged me extra for looking up where to go (shouldn't he know anyway?) and yelled at me because he had other jobs lined up that were more expensive. Some fuckers are only alive because its illegal to kill.

In other news, I'm going to Thailand!!!!!! I'm going for just under a month with my boyfriend. I'm going to get my teeth whitened, a fake balenciaga bag and 2000 pairs of shoes. And a ten hour long thai massage while I'm at it. I just paid the ticket and now I need to save $3000 for accomodation, insurance and my 2000 pairs of shoes. I'm nowhere near that amount but with Christmas looming, I've requested all presents to be in cash and preferably in the 3-4 digit range. That should help me out a bit and if you're expecting chritsmas presents this year, you're going to have to wait until I get back in February. Trust me, it will be worth it.

If I don't update before Christmas and its likely that I won't, Merry Xmas/Chanukkah/Kwanza/etc to everyone and a fabulous New Year.

Adios xx

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Sun, 13 Nov 2005 07:50:56 GMT

I have something on my mind that shits me to no end.

But it involves the terms: fat, weightloss, obese, PMS. If you are tired of all that shit, close the page and go find some porn or something because I have to rant.

So I bought myself some ice-cream, and because it was my favourite and because my bf wasn't there to tell me to stop, I had devoured about half the tub in the space of two days. Bloated, cranky and no doubt at the lowest of my already dented self esteem I proclaimed to my dormies(with my head still stuck in that tub of english toffee) that I felt fat.

Thats normal right? You stick your head in a tub of ice-cream and of course you'll feel a bit tubby.

Now by no means did I say 'I'm fat' because I'm not. My BMI is healthy and I run about 5 days a week (by 'run' I mean run/walk/jog). But I'm quite short (maybe 5"1?) and any excess weight can only spread out not up. So usually I'm quite conscious of what I eat and when I eat so that I don't end up looking like Jabba the Hut. But that week was a blow out of epic proportions and that did not help my mood. So when I proclaimed I 'felt' fat, I didn't realise I was actually offending my other dormies who are a bit bigger than me. One of them looked at me like I had just strangled a baby with an extension cord. Then she said "Oh shut up and stop fishing for compliments"

Well

I guess now I'll just have to watch what I say (and eat) in front of the dormies in case they think I'm fishing. I guess I had gone on a bit that week and I suppose in a way I was fishing, but having said that, I was also just looking to start some conversation. I hate the way I have to tiptoe around this person and apologise for my lack of fat. But ever since the start she has made me feel shit because I wasn't pasty and fat (not to say that I'm some brown Gisele like person) and I'm tired of it. So this post is for the smaller girls who sometimes get they raw end of the deal because their bigger friends are too busy bellyaching and making them feel like crap. And this is for the bigger girls who may occasionally want a compliment. Or three. I have been both girls and it can suck shit sometimes getting both ends of the deal.

In other news IT'S SUMMER! Well it feels like it. Who knows what season it will be tomorrow. But I'm so excited. I can't wait to get to the beach and work and make lots of money with no assignments and exams.Speaking of which, I have marketing and accounting two (the latter I'm actually doing really well in surprise surprise) coming up this week and I'm looking forward to them like I'm looking forward to a colonic irrigation. If I fail any of these, I fail the whole course and will have to do it again through correspondence, jeapordising my chances of getting into UTS. So I guess I really should get off my butt and do some study. But this is the way I like it - procrastinating and quietly stressing. I seem to do better when I'm under a lot of pressure. We'll see how it works out. One more week left of uni and then I'm off for 3 months. Yay!

(ps: anyone reading this who has my mobile number, don't call it. I lost my charger)

(pps: anyone not reading this would include my pet/boyfriend Simon, who turned 19 last week. Happy Birthday Ma Cherie)

Moths and Accounting. A lovely combo

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 04:50:08 GMT

My dorm is infested with moths.

Big ones. Brown and black and stupid. I don't really understand the physiology of the moth, but tell me, if you see a big moving thing coming towards you, 20 times your size, would you mindlessly crash into it? no I didn't think so either. But moths love this, they love flying in useless circles, hovering to light sources and crashing into things in the process. It'd be fucking hilarious if it wasn't so fucking scary. People say "Cassey, they're just little moths, whats there to be afraid of?" Well, i'll give you a rundown:
Flittery noises in the dark
Knowing that they're hiding in the curtains waiting to come out.
The chance that your mouth will fall open when you sleep.
Turning the lights on and knowing they'll descend like a cloud of locusts.

And let me tell you another stupid thing about these stupid little creatures. They leave during the day, and come back at night. So when I'm out at classes, they decide to leave, but when I'm at home and I need to cook dinner, study and sleep, they have to come back and ruin everything. Well I'm sick of it. For the past 3 nights, I have slept at my boyfreinds house for fear of unconciously ingesting a moth in my sleep. I've eaten kebabs, stinky stirfries and putrid pasta's as a result (thereby gaining weight) And I have most likely failed my marketing exam today because I had to stay at the boy's house the night before where we watched shit reality TV shows (Australian Princess anyone?) instead of studying.

And so it has come to this.

Armed with Baygon, I sprayed every inch of my room. I squashed every disgusting moth I could see. I looked under the bed, in the curtains, in my closet and behind my fridge. This took me 2 hours, and my room is now moth free. But knowing they'll be back, I taped up the vents and smeared vicks all around the place (Moths hate camphor, i read somewhere, which is in Vicks Vaporub). Thus I am typing this in a room that reeks like a delightful cross between nursing home and dead dog. Simon will be back soon, so add his feet to the equation and I guarantee there will be no surviving moths. I know that this procedure probably cost me a couple of hundred brain cells, but so be it. At least I won't die in my sleep choking on a moth.

On other news, I got a distinction in Accounting 2! Isn;t that fabulous, I used to hate this subject with a passion, but now, I have realised the err of my ways and I know that with hard work and determination, I can achieve anything! Somehow, the gods looked upon me with love and granted me this wonderful mark.

Well that's what I thought for a day until I recalculated my mark and realised my lecturer made an adding mistake. Now its a credit. Had I gotten four marks more, it would have been a distinction. Seriously, what kind of ACCOUNTING lecturer makes adding mistakes?! Fucker. This has made me hate accounting even more now.

I'm going to go eat a tomato.

Ciao

flirtageous@hotmail.com — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 03:31:01 GMT

The absolute shit thing about procrastination is when it has to end - when you realise that you've done completely everything in your power to keep you from doing what you need to do to begin with. That moment came for me this morning when I finally finished Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince. I had dried the tears from my eyes, stored the book back in my bookshelf, made my bed, had breakfast and then stood in my room for a full 3 minutes.

And then it hit me

There is nothing stopping me from picking up my accounting book, or my marketing assignment and start studying. I had cleaned my room last night, called Simon, ate chicken, called Simon, spooned Lana, called Simon again and read HP until the book fell from my limp hands at around 2am with drool trailing down my face. Woke up, finished Harry, and now I'm scared that once I finish this post I really do have nothing to do to keep my from studying.....

So I'll just keep going.

i mentioned before about a dentist that told me I was pregnant. This is true. It happened in the holidays when I took a Tuesday off work to do all the sadistic health check ups that I was putting off for so long. At nine am I headed to the skin specialist who prodded me and poked me and told me that the growing mole on my arm (that has so far shown every sign of melanoma) is totally fine. Then I went to the dentist. I have never been afraid of the dentist, mainly because my usual dentist is a lovely young woman who inflicts as little pain as possible and never hesitates to assure me that my teeth aren in perfect condition. Of course she was on leave and I was left with a masked psychopath hellbent on scaring the shit out me as soon as I stepped into her office. But I didn;t know that yet. It started well enough with a 'Hello, I'm doctor Weinstein, Dr. Fields is on leave. Would you like to get on the chair and put the bib on?" Then she asked me if there were any problems and I told her about a niggling pain in my gum. Thats when all hell broke loose. She checked my gums by poking it with her scalpel thing and making them bleed so much I had to spit two cupfuls of blood. Then she cleaned my teeth with her drills and hook things. This is general procedure, but whenever Dr. Fields did it I was never in so much pain. This nutjob was a fucking nazi and I ended up crying, which is pathetic given that I was at the dentists. And then, just when I thought I wold pass out from the pain, she stops, pulls the intsruments of torure out of my mouth and goes "Could you be pregnant?"

What the fuck?

"No, I can;t be!" I said, but it came out more as a ",gdflio; qe;qor ;qorg" because I had dribbled a mouthful of blood onto my bib. The bitch had been hacking away at my teeth with knives. "Well", she said, "I have reason to believe that you are, the state of your teeth at the moment is that of a woman into the very early stages of her pregnancy. Have you missed a period?" I told her that I was due in two weeks, and she had the audacity to tell me to have a pregnancy test in the 'likely event that you miss your period'. OK... Later on, when I staggered out of there, mum and I decided that she had failed medical school and ended up in dentistry destined to take her failure out on all her unsuspecting patients, telling them they've got cancer, gall stones, schizophrenia... She told me I had to go back for a 'thorough cleaning' which means 'complete annihilation' where she'll drain all the blood from my mouth before pronouncing my teeth clean. The day I go back to her will be the day I willingly get my clit pierced. I had a pap smear after wards which was a delightful experince in comparison.

And do you want to know something?

I got my period exactly two weeks later, then had a pregnancy test. Negative.

Suck on that bitch.